5 ways to help frustrated child learn to solve problems

Friday, May 01, 2015 Dr. Vishaal Bhat 0 Comments

 As a father with two growing children, I often find it difficult to get them to complete their activities without a sense of frustration creeping into it. My children aged 4 and one are very active, impatient and want to get things done, before they even conceptualise their ideas.

What I've discovered is that it is often a mere push that gets them the satisfaction, rather than constrict their thoughts. I've found that the following tips help them solve their problems without frustration.


1. Don't jump in too quickly to solve problems for the child. That short-circuits the child's ability to work out solutions independently. This is especially true in their early age, and is an important point we parents must remember. The less we allow independent thoughts at this age, the less likely, the child will develop an inquisitive activity later in life.

2. Help her name her emotion. She says, "This is stupid!" You say, "You're really feeling frustrated, aren't you?". Getting them to identify their emotions goes a long way in their learning to control their emotions. Often, we let children use the same emotions for all their problems. 

3. Validate his feeling. That helps him move on instead of wallowing and getting stuck. He says, "I hate this game!" You say, "This is hard work, isn't it?"

4. Help him clarify his goal. He grunts. You say, "What were you trying to do, anyway? Build a tower?"

5. Wonder aloud with him. You become a partner in problem-solving rather than an adult who holds all knowledge. You say, "Did you notice you're building it on a rug? I wonder if it would be more steady on the floor." He says, "Yeah, and look, I can make it taller!"

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